at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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