I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
