glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
