Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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