Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize