My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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