My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
