i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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