My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
