dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
