Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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