I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
