Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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