people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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