I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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