whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
