Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
