Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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