I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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