i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
