you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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