Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i need some magic done to my vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
