in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
