No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i believe in u and ur pee
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