I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
