kristin has been a bad kristin
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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