Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
