dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Send help, water and tortillas.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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