when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
