we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
