You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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