That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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