Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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