xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
