Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize