She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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