would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
