shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
