I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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