people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I bet he comes in French.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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