Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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