Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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