Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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