Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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