hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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