girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
