If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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