God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
