Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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