he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
