Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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