He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
