he puts the penis in happiness.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
