nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
