Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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