Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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