Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
