How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
