so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
