How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
