I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
