I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
