My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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