I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
