belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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