He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
